Well earlier this week I was convinced to partake in Outback jack's 1kg Challenge http://www.outbackjacks.com.au/ .
For those who can't be fucked clicking a link. 30 mins to eat a 1kg steak 500g of Wedges and 500g of steamed veggies.
Now you know how you have that friend who comes up with awesome ideas and says you should do this it will be easy for you or they tell you it's a great idea. We all have one of those friends including myself and like all good friends do we listen to each other. In my case though he just said you should do this and I went with it.
Now the best part about out back jacks is they have a little area where you can look at your steak and eye it up before it gets cooked. I failed to do this as I saw a sign for free t-shirt if you complete the challenge so I didn't need to eye up my opponent. I wish I did.
Now last I checked when you cook a steak it shrinks a bit turns brown tastes good etc. I swear to the flying spaghetti monster above, the steak grew in size was brown and tasted good but it had me slightly questioning why I agreed to do something so stupid in the first place.
Now the plates come out there is a lot of food on it on the evil lady who was watching our challenge said to eat the wedges first it's full of carbs so they will make you feel fuller so best to get them out of the way etc. She said this like it was some friendly advice then stated 2 things after that.
1.) A 60 year old man has done this challenge, how ever I think she was spose to add then died after to the sentence but we all nodded and was all slightly in shock and awe.
2.) a 60kg little Asian lady had done the challenge a week earlier in 8 minutes.... seriously what the fuck. I'm pretty sure she was either in complete control of that gag reflex or she was stashing the meat in a particular orrifice.
After all that 2 whacks of a cowbell and we were off. it was about 5 minutes into the challenge after I had eaten all my wedges that I realised someone did a very very bad thing. THE BITCH LIED. after eating all the wedges if was feeling a little bit like shit and was starting to question if she was lying to me to make me fail.
Soon after I had managed to finish my lovely steamed vegetables and was on to THE STEAK.
Weighing in at 1kg medium rare was the final leg of this race I had 13 minutes left to finish this beast off. As I started to consume this succulent piece of cow flesh I realised as time went on I was chewing a lot more to try and swallow the damn meat the final 3 minutes had come and there was about 150g's of flesh left and I realised I had to concede for a few reasons.
1.) I had the meat sweats, and anyone who has tried to eat so much meat knows this means a few things are going on internally such as;
2.) Chest pains, wether it was my Heart trying to shoot itself in the face, heart burn or intergestion I don't know but you feel death has come creeping.
3.) Was feeling a wee bit sick I had just consumed 1 kilo of friggin vegetables and nearly 1kg of meat last I checked humans are not supposed to eat that much.
4.) Itis. Yep the dreaded Itis it's where you eat too much then start feelign sleepy and slow which meant I wanted to curl up and have a nap.
I had concede and knew that it was due to an early sabotage that this challenge would not be completed but now I know one thing.
I'm going back to get that damn free T-Shirt and completing that challenge.