Sunday, October 24, 2010

Good lord it's time for a random rant.

Another day another rant, except this one is about a fun tasty topic; Video games. Yes the one thing that keeps me and a majority of the world sane.

There's just a weeeeeeee little problem, Beating a Dead Horse.

Video game developers seem to have no clue on how to create new fun games for us to enjoy, for example let's look at Nintendo and a few of there series like Poke'mon and Mario.

Pokemon Started back in 1996 with 151 fun little creatures that knock the shit out of each other for sport, nearly 15 years later they are still beating the dead horse and are now running out of ideas for new creatures. It seems one of their developers decided to take every day animals along with the poke'mon they have already made throw them into the spore editor add some dongs and *BAM* we know have a pikachu with dongs for ears and we splashed it with blu paint.

Every series comes to an eventual end and pokemon has gone way past it's due date.

Now the Mario series I would bitch and whine about it but I find it would be more appropriate to bag out on the Legend of Zelda series instead but then I realised it's really the same series just they changed the weapons it seriously is it's all the same down to the 1 game in each series where it wasn't Gannon as the main antagonist(for those who dont have a clue Super Mario Brothers 2 and Link's Awakening).

For people who haven't played either series (die in a small fire) here's the general concept; Mario/Link find out Peach/Zelda got kidnapped by Bowser/Gannon and they have to go save them. except each time the world has changed along with weapons and ability concepts. There is no originality in these games anymore and it's slowly dying out.

Now a company that has a clue or it may just be a case of laziness or cbf syndrome is Valve.

Yes Valve, the wonderful people who brought us our favorite mute hero in the FPS genre every series they have made seems to finish at the number 2. Half-life 1/2, Half-Life 2 episode 1/2 the list goes on and it seems to be wokring for them.

Video game parent companies need to know when to stop and or give up. Theres not plot twist in story lines anymore the games are way to predictable and it's just annoying. I'm not saying I can do a better job but I'm pretty sure I could use 2 million dollars of nintendo/sega/ea/activisions money to make a concept/story/game that would shit on anything they have previously made.

But hey I can't really complain I spend my spare time speed running metroid/castlvevania games which are doing the exact same thing but at least they have added storyline and plot points into their series which is why I support them.

For those of you who cbf reading this rant tl;dr - Developers need to stop beating a dead horse and make something new/beat on a dead cow instead.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Gambling, Strippers and Tasty wins these are a few of my favourite things.

So it's a Tuesday night and somehow I managed to get myself dragged into Brisbane city for a spot of Gambling and drinking. Last time I ever set foot in a casino I manged to get myself kicked out for using the word bomb and bag in the same sentence, and maybe having a beard might of led to some profiling against me.

So I walk into the Treasury Casino and the first thing I noticed was the singing chorus of the Pokie Machines along the outsides of the main foyer and Tables as far as the eye can see. 3 of us have just arrived an waitign for 2 more so we grab some beers and check out the tables to see what the actions like.

Now not to sound like a wanker but seriously people what the fuck I watched 3 elderly men place $100 chips on every single damn square in roulette. If I had $3600 to blow I can think about plenty more things I could spend it on like coke and hookers.

After watching the action and thinking my addictive personality and gambling are the worst idea in history the last 2 members of out party arrive, before we head down to the buffet to get eats we head off to the pokies to try our luck. Now I shit you not ladies and gents we had only been on the machines for 30 seconds and on of the lads has already hit gold he turned $2 into $145 in 1 spin. My only reaction was to siomply stay calm and keep pressing the shiny button on my machine which eventually ates the $20 I put into it. Pro Tip: DO NOT trust any machine that is Egyptian orientated.

So after a while we grab some eats and head over to the video blackjack tables, simple game throw in $5 bet it all see what happens. I can tell you now the whore of the video blackjack lady took 3 of us for all we had put into her. Pro Tip: If you are up pull out there and then going from $20 to $55 then to $0 hurts.

So after black jack we tried out hand at keno which supposedly has fun odds etc. Complete fucking lie. Back to the pokies.

Round 2 commenced with our shiny noise making friends and we seem to have done a lot better well except for me the blackjack and keno whores took my money. Now recently 50 line machines have come into play and theres 2 kinds of them; The Kind that pay out really well have have an awesome feature and the kind that have a horrible horrible feature and will take your house car wife and your Mexican house boy. We found the latter.

Now 2 friends took my advice and went on the machines I suggested cause I had a "feeling" from them. 1 Paid out 1 Didn't, my advice if the machine only gives out 5 free games as a feature leave it alone and find a Spring Carnival machine and w.winbig.

So 1:30 am rocks up and we need something to do as we are over the money grabbing machines and employees of the casino. So it's 1:30am on a Wednesday what else do you do? Strip Club, 10 minutes later we found ourselves at a lovely little venue called The Cabaret Club now I had in my mind the vision of sexy dancing ladies with feathers etc kind burlesque style. Boy I was wrong, we walk in and of course we had forgotten Metallica was playing hours before hand and every wanker who thought he was hot shit was in there.

Now 3 things I noticed while sitting around drinking in this place.

1.) Everyone who wore a Metallica shirt seriously had no idea on the rules of this place they did a no no that the stripper said no to and she walked away with their money I saw this happen at least 7 times.

2.) I felt like a minority not to sound racist but the white people to others ratio was out the window surprisingly enough a goo majority of people in there were of middle eastern appearance ( Indian, Pakistani, Iranian you know the places where sand was invented)

3.) The strippers had fuck all room the spin around on their poles. I'm approx 6ft and thats about as much room as their was form the floor of the stage to the roof, but these ladies were so used to it they used their wondrous abilities to defy physics to bring us sexy entertainment.

Now after about 15 minutes of watching these ladies dance, strip and pretend they cared about us the realization of the female counterpart knowing I was in such a place chilled me to the bone, 1 minute later a friend had bought me 5 minutes with one of these ladies and I felt warm and fuzzy inside know I have felt breasts from many corners of Queensland. Gentlemen these were the softest most smoothest pair of breasts I have ever felt on my face and hands and I loved it. As much as I would of loved to have taken those puppies home with me I knew I would of been shot on sight.

But shortly after the night ended the strippers had homes to go to and the cab drivers needed to do some work so we all headed on home. Now during the night I sampled quite a few drinks and I must say if you happen to be in the Treasury Casino in Brisbane, Try the Strawberry Daiquiri's they are potent, tasty and full of win and awesome for better results and effects drink rum before hand to get you buzz going the daiquiri adds a fizzy sensation to one's body and it's all smiles from there.

Not bad for a Tuesday night out next time I have a substantial bank roll I shall find out what goes on in those ever so private rooms in the Cabaret.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bill O'reilly is a biggot

Ahhh daytime T.V. you always seem to entertain me with your early morning antic and shenanigans, how ever this morning there was a nice video clip from a talk show in the U.S. called The View.

Fast Forward to around 1:50 mark to get the gist of what I am ranting about.

Now I'm all for free speech and what not but Bill O'reilly seems to have overstepped this time. Why? well as we know several years ago a tragedy happened in the U.S. the September 11 Attacks. From what we have been fed it seems extremists flew some planes into the world trade center buildings killing thousands.

Now the part in that video clip that pisses me off is he specifically stated that "Muslims" were responsible for 9/11, now this part may have a certain truth to it how ever they were extremists, people who read too much into what they believe. It's in my view a fair call to say extremists were the ones who caused the attacks not muslims in general.

Now the reason for the spark on the set of the view from what I can understand is the proposed plans to build a mosque on the site of the 9/11 attacks. Now I have no issues with religon myself but I can see why this is a bit of a stupid idea.

A majority of the U.S. still has not recovered form what has happend and plamting a mosque in the middle of ground zero will upset people who have the view of Bill O'reilly thinking muslims are responsible for 9/11. These people are complete idiots but have a valid point putting a mosque there is like planting a flag on territory that has been taken over.

How ever I have no idea of the layout of New York city, but I'm pretty sure you could build it somewhere else to keep both parties happy. When the argument first started about the building of the mosque there were plenty of people voicing their opinions on the idea. I remember one American citizen who clearly stated he was a Muslim and said this idea was bad because of the feelings of the general public.

But people will be sheep and believe what the media tells them. Stop the shit get a clue and listen reason Bill you sir are a dick and quite frankly if someone shot you in the face they are going to hand the gunman a medal a key to the city and hand him a presidential pardon.

But enough from me this weekend I shall be reviewing some tasty beverages and giving the world my 2 cents on them, and remember Muslims did not cause 9/11. Muslim Extremists who are idiots did.

Monday, October 11, 2010

And so it begins.....

And well it begins an idea suggested to me one night by some drinking buddies that I should review stuff due to my drunken rant on how beer with simple packing taste better than beer with bells and whistles.

After seeking advice from friends and family on if this is a good idea, (Supposedly I may end up looking down the barrel of the lawsuit gun due to companies unable to handle some criticism) I have decided to go on ahead with it regardless, I mean worse case scenario is I get sued but shit happens.

Anyway in the next few weeks I shall start to begin my reviews of beers from around the world. (By world I mean the local 1st choice nearby which as they stated has beers from around the world.)

I also intend to try and review movies, TV episodes and every now and then video games (pending if there is anything decent out there that will catch my eye).

So please ladies and gents feel free to leave comments, criticism and even the papers you try to serve me with on my site and I'll try my best to to acknowledge you.